7 Books on the Inner Critic
Update: I’ve added a couple more less well-known books to this list here.
In the journey of inner deepening – whether you call it self-help, personal growth, or something else entirely – the inner critic often emerges as a formidable obstacle.
This can manifest as a voice or as an experience, but either way it often works within us to undermine our confidence, hinder our progress, and create self-doubt. For those who grew up in the Church, it might be intertwined with dogmas and doctrines, concepts of good vs. bad, and other shame-related instances. Learning to sit with the inner critic is a transformative process.
Here are seven books on the inner critic that will provide valuable insights and practical techniques toward healing the harm caused both within ourselves and by us in our communities.
The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer
Key Takeaways:
We must learn to identify the language of our inner critics so that we might disentangle ourselves from its influence.
Embrace mindfulness and develop a practice of self-observation to detach our sense of identity from our negative thoughts.
Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
Key Takeaways:
Recognize and accept the presence of your inner critic with compassion and kindness. (Seeking to destroy the inner critic will not work and will only cause further harm.)
Cultivate self-compassion and loving-kindness to heal and transform your relationship with the inner critic.
The Wisdom of No Escape by Pema Chödrön
Key Takeaways:
There is no escape from the inner life. Instead, work to develop the capacity for humor and lightness – this will help to dissolve the grip of the inner critic.
This is emotional work – and we are emotional beings. Utilize meditation and mindfulness as tools to navigate your emotions and begin to recognize when your shadows are being touched upon.
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
Key Takeaways:
Embrace vulnerability and imperfection as integral parts of the human experience.
Challenge the unrealistic expectations set by the inner critic – learn to see yourself with soft eyes.
Practice authenticity and develop a sense of worthiness independent of external validation.
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
Key Takeaways:
Adopt four powerful agreements to transform your relationship with the inner critic:
Be impeccable with your word
Don't take anything personally
Don't make assumptions
Always do your best
Give yourself to these agreements and work toward letting go the limiting beliefs that fester when they’re left unchallenged.
Emotional Agility by Susan David
Key Takeaways:
Develop emotional agility by accepting and embracing the full range of your emotions.
Understand the underlying messages and fears behind your inner critic's voice – in my experience, this is best done with long walks, real talk conversations with close friends, working with a therapist, and journaling.
Practice resilience and adaptability to navigate challenges and cultivate self-growth.
Unmasking the Inner Critic by Andrew Lang
Key Takeaways:
Beneath the masks you wear is your inherent dignity – inner work is about learning to sit with your full self, both the inner critic and this inherent dignity.
Our inner critic doesn’t always speak with one voice or with a voice at all – notice the ways your inner critic shows up in your body, in the ways you “read the room,” and in the ways you engage your communities.
Facing your inner critic requires community – inner work is not isolated work.
Become more intentional and present to your life.
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