The Contemplative Tradition and Awkward Silence w/ Tia Norman

The following comes from an online interview I did with spiritual teacher and Centering Prayer practitioner Tia Norman on the topics of contemplative spirituality and the Christian contemplative tradition.

Andrew Lang: When we spoke a few weeks ago, you named that while you weren’t raised in the context of organized religion, you found your way toward reading scripture and engaging in the Christian contemplative tradition. What brought you to this space?

Tia Norman: Although I wasn’t raised in the context of organized religion, I was raised knowing I could pray and that is ultimately what brought me to scripture and engaging with the Christian contemplate tradition. 

I was going through a very difficult time in my life; I had a toddler at home and the relationship with her father was falling apart. I felt tons of pressure financially for a number of reasons and that was all coupled with a lack of feeling fulfilled in my work. It all came to a head one day on my way home from the office.

I pulled my car over and parked in a dollar store parking lot, tossed my hands up in the air and said, “Help me!”

That was the prayer. Almost immediately I felt moved to begin reading the Bible and that’s what I did.

Every night for a full year I would read as I sat beside my daughter's bed as she fell asleep. Three hundred and sixty five days later my whole life had changed. At the time I wasn’t aware that this way of reading was actually a spiritual practice (lectio divina).

The messages that felt most impactful for me were the verses where Jesus would engage in conversation with people, ask them what they wanted and then invite them to “come and see.” Responding to that question with my own question is how I have found many of my teachers. 

Andrew Lang: That practice of questioning and listening and silence are all core to the Christian contemplative tradition – how did you move from your experience of lectio divina into a sustained practice of silence? And how have your practices, or ways of engaging this contemplative tradition, changed over time?

Tia Norman: I began engaging with a practice of silence during what most of us would probably refer to as a period of “awkward silence.”

I was on retreat and as one of the guest speakers approached the podium he stood in front of the microphone and didn’t begin speaking right away.

It was in that moment of silence that I noticed how busy and loud my own mind was and I became aware of how I was actually making up a story about why he wasn’t speaking. 

When he did speak there was something about his presence and continued use of silence that drew me in. He extended an invitation to the group to join him for Centering Prayer the next morning and that was the catalyst for continuing to engage in a practice of silence. 

Over time my practices have changed in frequency and spilled over into my day to day life.

Engaging in the contemplative tradition has become more about how I engage with the world and less about the quality of any periods of silence. 

Andrew Lang: We’ve both had the experience of being part of the Living School for Action and Contemplation with Richard Rohr, Barbara Holmes, James Finley, and Brian McLaren. As you end this two-year program, how have you experienced your spirituality changing during this time? Are there any teachings in particular that stand out for you?

Tia Norman: The most notable change to my spirituality during my Living School tenure has been connected to my willingness to “touch the hurting places” (to borrow language used by James Finley). Finley’s transparency, approach and teachings on trauma have impacted me tremendously.  

Andrew Lang: You and I both have a deep appreciation for the interwovenness of contemplative practices and somatic body work. For the past couple months, you’ve been offering virtual classes called Creating Peace in Your System that seem to bring these threads together. How did these classes come about and how are you hoping they support folks?

Tia Norman: Creating Peace in Your System came about when I started receiving an increase in questions in my inbox and from people that I visit with by appointment that were trying to reconcile emotions like grief, frustration and anger. Within their questioning I could pick up on their desire to disassociate from the emotion because it wasn’t pleasant to feel and in most cases held the label of being negative. 

I hope the classes support folks by bringing some normalcy to emotions they typically try to avoid feeling and as a way to fully embody whatever it is they may be experiencing emotionally. My intention is to guide them to reconnect to the wisdom in their bodies as a means of letting the energy of the emotion dissipate.

Andrew Lang: What’s a good first step for folks who want to engage more with your work?

Tia Norman: Send an email my way (tia@contemplatehouston.com), introduce yourself and include a question you’d ask me if we were to meet up for coffee.